How is gay dating different from straight dating

Who cooks?

What Are the Differences Between Gay and Straight Relationships?

Who cleans up? Who grocery shops? Who picks up the dry cleaning? Often, making a list and then discussing how to divide it can be a discussion at home, or in session.

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Gay male relationships where there is a parenting factor involved differ from straight relationships mostly in that same-sex parenting needs extra support. Family — In gay male relationships, the role of one of the male partners in taking care of aging parents can be an issue, similar to straight couples. Fortunately, for most of the gay couples I have worked with, there have been surprisingly few seriously hostile in-law conflicts.

More often, the son-in-law is treated as a full member of the family, which is a nice thing to be able to say about the current times we live in. Fun — Fortunately, one huge and consistent benefit I have observed in gay male relationships over straight ones is that gay couples consistently demonstrate a youthfulness, playfulness, and sense of fun, especially with peers but also alone with each other.

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While this is common to affluent gay male couples, even middle class or working class gay couples seem to have an extra sense of discovering fun, creative pastimes. Men are physically larger than women, so they can go through a lot of alcohol and food at events hence the stories of the first all-gay cruises running out of alcohol on board! A friend of mine once said that he believed gay men had particularly-evolved critical thinking skills. While two gay men might love one another in their relationship, they will still subtly compete with one another to others, like most males in the animal kingdom.

This can be a certain mutual benefit, but it can also be a source of competition or even resentment of what the other has that he lacks. We want to make ourselves attractive to each other, but we also tend to want to be recognized and admired in our own right by others.


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For gay male couples, loving and accepting the self individually and in context of each other, and society at large, can be a challenge. Politics — I think gay male couples are just simply more affected by politics, changes in laws, and changes in society than straight couples are. When we watch the evening news, or read news outlets online, they are often talking about us as gay men. That just puts an extra stress on the day, in addition to the fact that the Internet service provider is down or that the cat just threw up grass on the carpet.

Gay male couples tend to be more politically aware, and even more politically active attending protests, writing letters, attending fundraisers, observing boycotts, making donations than straight couples, because their rights and existence are challenged every day these days with a certain urgency and immediacy that straight couples are generally spared. However, form, endure, and happily, they do, often without my help at all. What is your experience with the above 10 items of difference?

Your comments and feedback are welcome.

For more information on my therapy and coaching services, or for more articles on many topics of interest to gay men, visit www. Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you.

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Tetra Images via Getty Images. These are the issues that come up repeatedly in couples counseling sessions: Canada U. US News. World News. Social Justice. Donald Trump. Queer Voices. Black Voices.

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Gay Men’s Relationships: 10 Ways They Differ From Straight Relationships | HuffPost

Latino Voices. Of the differences identified to date, some suggest that gay and lesbian partners are slightly better off than their heterosexual counterparts, while others imply that they are slightly worse off. One noted advantage of same-sex couples is that they are nicer and use more humor during arguments compared to heterosexual couples.


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  5. Despite having less heated debates, same-sex couples tend to break up more frequently. Barriers refer to the potential losses you might suffer emotionally or financially if you were to end a romance. Why do same-sex couples report fewer barriers? One reason is because most same-sex partners do not have the legal option of getting married. Thus, it could be that certain barriers are weaker in gay relationships because they usually do not need to consult attorneys and appear in front of a judge if they want to end their partnerships.

    Although I have focused most of this entry on the topic of differences, please keep in mind that basic relationship dynamics are largely the same across most couple types. Thus, when comparing same- and opposite-sex relationships, there are actually far more similarities than there are differences. Interested in learning more about relationships? Are gay and lesbian cohabiting couples really different from heterosexual married couples? Journal of Marriage and Family, 66, Marginalized relationships: The impact of social disapproval on romantic relationship commitment.

    Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 32,